Adulting 101 Read online

  The springs squeak again as Jai shifts and reaches over Nick. When he leans back again, he’s holding stuff. A condom and a bottle of lube. The snap of the lid is as loud as a gunshot as Jai thumbs it open.

  Nick has played with lube a bit. He ordered a dildo online once, and knew better than to put it anywhere near his ass without slicking it up first. But maybe he used too much, because he couldn’t get a good grip on it, and when he tried to slide it inside him, it shot out the other end of his fist instead and hit the collectible Aragorn figure on the bottom of his bookshelf. The next time he tried, with less lube, he could only get it part way in, and then worried for ages that there was something wrong with him. Maybe he’s too small there or something. Maybe one day a proctologist will discover that his ass is some sort of medical anomaly and nothing longer than an inch can fit up there. His ass will be famous in medical circles.

  Except . . .

  Nick shudders as a lube-slick finger rubs over his taint and presses against his hole.

  Except Jai’s finger slips right in.

  Holy. Mother. Of. God.

  It doesn’t feel good, exactly, but it doesn’t feel exactly bad either. It feels weird. It also feels a little like he needs to shit. Which, gross. But it’s okay. As long as he doesn’t shit and Jai doesn’t end up with a handful of it, it’s going to be fine, right?

  “Okay?” Jai asks in a low voice.

  Nick squirms a little, and could this be more awkward? Bad enough Jai has a finger up his ass, but now he wants to initiate a conversation as well? “Uh-huh.”

  “Tell me if you want to stop,” Jai says, and kisses him.

  Nick closes his eyes. He tilts his hips up and opens his legs a little wider. Says with his scrawny, hairy, inadequate body what he can’t with his words: Yes. Keep going. Do it.

  Which is not clear and explicit consent, probably, but this isn’t an after-school special. Nick isn’t always so great at talking about his feelings, unless it’s with Devon. And this is even worse, because it’s like feelings, but wrapped up in sexual things, like needs, which makes it a million times more potentially humiliating. Because how is he supposed to know what to ask for, or what to refuse, when he doesn’t know exactly what’s going on? Okay, he’s seen porn, a lot of porn, and he knows what Jai’s doing, but just because he can feel the stretch and the strange ache as Jai gets a second finger inside him doesn’t mean that in any reality in any universe he would ever be comfortable with saying the words “finger” and “my ass” in the same sentence, whether it’s to ask for more, or to ask Jai to stop.

  Nick feels a sudden flash of fear at that realization. Is Nick really the sort of person who’d let someone go as far as he wanted because Nick was too embarrassed to tell him to stop? God. Maybe he is.

  He opens his eyes again.

  Jai’s gaze is steady on Nick’s as he slowly stretches him, and Nick forces himself to relax. Okay, Nick may be the type of guy who’d rather get pressured into full-on sex than have to awkwardly tell someone to stop in the middle of things, but Jai is obviously not the kind of guy who’s going to push him.

  It’s okay. It’s fine.

  “Nick?”

  “Yeah,” Nick says, a little breathless with fear, but also with relief that Jai asked. “I’m okay. Keep going.”

  Wow. Good. So he doesn’t need to actually say, Please keep your fingers in my ass, in order to give consent. That’s incredibly reassuring to discover.

  Jai kisses him again, then shifts back slightly. The muscles in his arm cord as he turns his hand, changes the angle of his fingers, and—

  Zing!

  A wild burst of pleasure shoots through Nick like lightning.

  Hello, prostate. Nice to finally meet you.

  Wow. That’s just . . . wow. All the things are happening right now. Nick’s not exactly sure he can even differentiate between all the battling sensations coursing through him, and it seems easier to just go with them, wherever the hell they’re taking him. He’s here for the experience, but he never expected the experience to feel quite this . . . weirdly hypnotic? Jai is totally putting him into some kind of freaky trance with his magic fingers. It feels really, really good, and it’s making him kind of dozy. But also, more please?

  He thinks he mumbles something like that when Jai helps turn him over onto his belly.

  Foreplay is supposed to be a good thing. Except right now Nick feels like it’s dragged on for hours and he is more than ready for the main event. The sheet underneath him is already soaked in sweat, and Jai’s still just fingering him. And he needs to stop that, immediately.

  Nick squirms.

  His legs are spread wide, his aching dick absolutely leaking into the sheets, and probably the mattress, and he’s totally wrecked even though he hasn’t even come yet. And if Jai wants him to have enough energy left to actually participate in the main event and not just lie there like a dead fish, then Jai needs to get his fingers out of Nick’s ass right now and put his dick in there.

  He mumbles something like that into Jai’s pillow and grinds his dick against Jai’s mattress.

  “What?” Jai stills the fingers inside Nick’s ass. His other hand, splayed over Nick’s damp lower back, keeps making small, comforting circles.

  Nick lifts his head. “I said I’m not a finger puppet, Jai! Just put your dick in me already!”

  Jai laughs. “Okay. Get your knees under you, yeah?”

  Nick struggles to get his heavy, clumsy limbs to obey. It should be humiliating, waiting with his ass in the air—and totally on display—for Jai to fuck him. Except Nick is way past humiliation. He just really, really wants to come. Like every other time he’s wanted to come in his life has nothing on this moment. Because Jai has teased him for what seems like forever, and Nick is eighteen, okay? He can rub one out in the shower in under thirty seconds if he has to. Instant gratification is kind of his specialty. But this? This is all new to him, and it’s like torture and should totally be illegal.

  He twists his neck as he hears the crinkle of foil, and watches wide-eyed, jaw hanging, as Jai rolls the condom over his very erect, very angry-looking dick. Nick’s mouth waters like he’s Pavlov’s dirtiest dog. And then Jai is up on his knees behind Nick, his hands on Nick’s hips, drawing him closer. Nick feels heat first, as their bodies almost touch. A wall of warm air that compresses as Jai closes the distance between them, and their damp, sweaty bodies finally meet.

  He shivers.

  Jai takes a hand off his left hip, and Nick’s extensive study of porn tells him that this is it. That Jai is getting into position, getting his dick at the right angle. This is the moment Nick’s been waiting for. It’s terrifying.

  Nick exhales shakily as the hot, blunt head of Jai’s dick rubs against his slick, aching hole. And then it’s pressing inside him.

  Sweet Baby Zeus. Jai is inside him, and, okay, foreplay is apparently not overrated at all, because this doesn’t hurt—it aches as Jai’s dick stretches him, but it doesn’t hurt—and the roadblock Nick hit that time with the dildo? Jai’s incredible dick pushes straight past it.

  Nick’s breath shudders out of him, and he whimpers.

  “Okay?” Jai asks, his voice hardly more than a groan.

  “Y-yeah.” Nick gets his elbows under him properly and arches back, and, oh wow, that’s a lot of dick inside him. He has the sudden urge to press a hand on his stomach and see if he can feel it about to burst out of him. Like in Alien, but also kind of hot. “Are you all the way in?”

  “Almost.”

  There’s a part of Nick that worries he isn’t ready for this. There’s another part of him that knows he’ll never get someone as ridiculously gorgeous as Jai Hazenbrook again. Both of those parts could use some work on their self-esteem, probably. But this is what Nick came here for, right? This is what hooking up with Jai is all about: losing his virginity so he knows what to do once he gets to college and maybe even starts dating someone.

  Nick sucks in a breath. “
Keep going.”

  His head is swimming, and it’s almost like he can’t get enough oxygen. He’s aware of intense pressure, and shifts his body to try to ease it, but there’s actually no escaping it because there’s a dick inside his body. All Nick can do is bear down—thanks, internet!—and wait for his body to get used to it. Of course it totally helps when Jai hits his prostate again.

  Nick groans as pleasure sparks through him. His erection, which had flagged a little when Jai pushed inside him, is suddenly back again and paying a lot of attention to the proceedings. Nick still feels more pressure than pleasure, but his dick is an optimist. It’s pretty sure there’s a happy ending on the cards.

  It’s good, okay? Also weird and new and a bit strange, but it definitely tips toward the “Praise Jeebus!” end of the scale. A part of Nick wants to lose himself completely in this, while the other part of him—the part that his mom took to get tested for ADHD that one time, because he had the attention span of a goldfish and six million different tabs open in his brain—is busy cataloging in detail each tiny sensation so he can dissect every moment again later in his head. And also wondering how soon he can text Devon and let him know he finally got a dick in him. Because Nick’s been waiting a long time for this. Devon was sixteen when he first got laid, a year and a half ago. A whole year and half while Nick stewed jealously in his virgin juices. Which, ew, gross.

  Jai drags his hand down Nick’s spine, and Nick arches into it like a sweaty cat. Then Jai slides his hand underneath Nick and grabs his dick, and bam, Nick’s brain is right back here on the page, and will never, ever be distracted again, no sir.

  “How’s that feel?” Jai asks, his voice straining, and Nick almost laughs, because how does it feel? The hottest guy in the world is fucking him and jerking him off at the same time. It feels like goddamn Christmas!

  “Good,” he groans out instead, rocking back into Jai’s thrusts. “Fuck. ’S good.”

  Jai hits his prostate and squeezes his dick at the same time, and should Nick be thinking about presidents or state capitals or baseball statistics right now, or does he not care if he blows in under three point five seconds?

  The second one.

  Fuck.

  The second one.

  He comes, in a crazy explosion of bodily fluids, muffled obscenities, and the sort of jerking spasms that wouldn’t look out of place on the dog when she’s dreaming of chasing squirrels. He whines like the dog as well, because Jai isn’t finished yet and everything feels weird and oversensitive, and Nick is suddenly too wrung out to actually contribute, thanks very much.

  Then Jai is gripping his hips tightly and sort of shuddering into him, and yay, he’s coming too.

  Nick sags onto the mattress and resolves to start doing ab crunches and stuff from now on. Because stamina is a thing he could use, apparently. Jai still has enough energy to climb off the squeaky mattress and pad away. Nick actually kind of wants to watch him and get an eyeful of that naked ass, but moving seems like too much trouble right now.

  He hears the blast of water in the laundry tub, and a few seconds later Jai is back with a damp washcloth, and he’s wiping Nick’s ass.

  Nick squirms and snorts, and can’t decide if that’s really sweet or really weird. He’s eighteen. That’s plenty old to take care of his own ass maintenance, right?

  “You okay?” Jai asks, leaning down to press a kiss to the back of his shoulder.

  The small touch makes Nick flood with warmth. He lifts his head and turns it to gaze at Jai. “I think you broke me. In a totally good way.”

  Jai smiles. “You wanna watch a movie?”

  Nick rolls over at last, flushing. “Okay.”

  He wonders if he should get dressed to watch the movie, but Jai doesn’t make a move for his clothes so Nick doesn’t either. Jai just tugs the sheet up so that he’s not resting the laptop on his exposed dick, and Nick leans close and repays him for the life-changing sex by introducing him to the brilliance that is Attack on Titan.

  It may just be the greatest night of Nick’s life.

  Nick: Anus is an ugly word, right?

  Devon: Um . . . Do I need to ask why you’re thinking about aniseed?

  Devon: *anuses. Fucking autocorrect.

  Nick: Jai fucked me tonight. It was so good!

  Devon: Way to go, bro!

  Nick: Like at first I was worried it would be bad and awkward and I would just let him finish so at least one of us could have a good time, but then it turned out great.

  Devon: Wait, what? You would just let him finish?

  Nick: Yeah, but it turns out I’m ok at asking for what I want, so it wasn’t even like an issue.

  Devon: That’s good, I guess.

  Nick: IT WAS AWESOME!

  Devon: I’m trying to be supportive but please don’t tell me all the details.

  Nick: What? You’d never let a girl do butt stuff to u?

  Devon: Maybe?

  Nick: U totally should. Ur prostate is ur best friend, Dev.

  Devon: But I already have an annoying little best friend.

  Nick: I will fight u, bro.

  Devon: :D

  Jai texts Nick the next day to see how he’s doing, and gets back an emoji of an eggplant. It’s followed up by a thumbs-up, so Jai decides it’s basically positive. He spends the morning clearing weeds from the overgrown back garden, then works the slow Monday evening shift at Pizza Perfecto. Devon’s not working, and Nick doesn’t show up. Jai’s not too worried, since Nick texts him at least every hour with some random joke, cat meme, or Attack on Titan trivia. It’s past midnight when he closes up and heads home. He sleeps like the dead.

  On Tuesday morning he stays in bed until he hears his mom leave the house, and then gets up to go scrounge up some breakfast. He makes it to the kitchen just as Ronny is leaving.

  “Got an interview?” Jai asks him.

  “Got a job,” Ronny says with a wide grin. The tight lines in the corners of his eyes that Jai is accustomed to seeing have eased this morning. “I’ve got a new assignment over in Springboro because one of their summer regulars broke a leg. Which sucks for her, but thank God, you know?”

  “Good for you,” Jai says.

  “Thanks!” Ronny pecks Kat on the cheek and kisses Noah on the top of the head before he heads for the door. “Bye, Caden!”

  “Bye, Daddy!” Caden yells back from upstairs.

  The front door slams shut.

  Jai sits at the table.

  Kat slides a mug of coffee across the small kitchen table to Jai, and fixes him with a speculative stare. It reminds him of when she was eleven and had just discovered their mom’s dog-eared collection of Trixie Belden books and decided that she too could solve mysteries. “So Nick stayed pretty late the other night.”

  Jai shrugs.

  “You like this boy,” she says at last, gaze sharpening.

  Jai sips his coffee. “Of course I like him.”

  He’s not in the habit of sleeping with people he doesn’t like. Who would do that?

  “No, you like him, like him,” Kat presses.

  He huffs out a breath, quirks his mouth into something caught between a grin and a grimace, and shrugs again. “I don’t like him, like him. I just like him. It’s a casual thing. He’s fun to hang with. We’re friends.”

  “Uh-huh. Sure, little brother.” Her voice might be deadpan, but her eyebrows clearly don’t believe him. She sets a plate of toast on the table in front of him.

  Jai has never been more grateful for the distraction of two sticky little hands on his knees. He reaches down for Noah and hauls him onto his lap. Noah burbles happily to himself and smacks his hands on the table, sending cutlery clattering.

  Jai tears a crust off his toast and gives it to Noah to gum on, and Kat gets Noah’s oatmeal ready.

  Crusts and crumbs and smears of butter and jelly on the kitchen table. Coffee and juice and spills and splashes. Jai kind of likes the domesticity of it all. Of course it helps that he can alwa
ys hand Noah straight back to Kat if he wants a break.

  Which is what he does the moment Noah gets his oatmeal and decides to start painting the table with it.

  Kat sits down and takes Noah onto her lap, and Jai slides the oatmeal over to her to deal with instead.

  “You like this boy,” she says again, smirking.

  Jai chews on a piece of toast. “Remember when we were teenagers and you were so good at ignoring me that half your friends didn’t believe you had a brother? Good times.”

  “Sure,” she says, holding a spoonful of oatmeal up for Noah. “Remember that time you carved my initials into Dad’s new garden bench so I’d get in trouble?”

  “Remember that time you smashed a mirror over my head?” Jai teases.

  Kat rolls her eyes. “You were such a little baby about that!”

  He laughs. “Hey, you were the one who burst into tears because you thought you’d get seven years of bad luck! I only cried because I had glass in my scalp.”

  “Oh, please,” she says. “All the girls and boys like a rakish scar! You should totally thank me.”

  He rubs his head almost unconsciously. With his hair buzzed short, the narrow, jagged scar on his crown is visible. It’s never bothered him, although he remembers his mom fretting about it when it happened, since he’d had a huge bald patch shaved into his head for the stitches. His dad had just shrugged and called him “Friar Tuck” for a few weeks.

  He smiles at the memory.

  “I’ll bet Nick likes your scar.” She waggles her eyebrows.

  Jai snorts. He doubts Nick’s even noticed it. Nick seems to have a lot of difficulty raising his gaze much higher than Jai’s abs, to be honest.

  “He’s a cutie,” she says. “I approve.”

  “Okay, I’m pretty sure I don’t need your approval,” he says. “And how would you know he’s cute?”

  “I heard you leaving to take him home on Sunday night.” Kat bounces Noah on her knee as he begins to grizzle. “I might have peeked out the window.”

  Jai thinks of the way Nick sits behind him on the bike now. He’s a little more relaxed than he was that first time. He likes to link his fingers together around Jai’s abdomen and lean against his back. It feels good. “Yeah, he’s cute.”